Posts Tagged ‘empathy’

empathy dark side

Does Empathy Have A Dark Side?

April 12, 201911:43 AM ET.

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2019/04/12/712682406/does-empathy-have-a-dark-side

author Fritz Breithaupt. “Sometimes we commit atrocities not out of a failure of empathy but rather as a direct consequence of successful, even overly successful, empathy,” he writes in his forthcoming book The Dark Sides of Empathy.

Breithaupt, who directs the Experimental Humanities Lab at Indiana University, argues that empathy is a morally ambiguous capacity, one that can lead us astray if we don’t understand its many sides.

People assume that empathy is good because it is good for the recipient of empathy — I’m actually skeptical about this.

How is empathy good for the empathizer?

“vampiristic empathy.”

Vampiristic empathy is a form of empathy where people want to manipulate the people they empathize with so that they can, through them, experience the world in such a way that they really enjoy it.

An extreme case of this is helicopter parenting. Helicopter parents are constantly trying to steer their kids in the directions they think are the right directions. Of course they want the best for their children.

In a sense, extreme helicopter parents are robbing their kids of a selfhood so that they can basically project their own self into these kids.

empathy can actually make us more polarized instead of bringing us together. 

Humans are very quick to take sides. And when you take one side, you take the perspective of that side. You can see the painful parts of that perspective and empathize with them, and that empathy can fuel seeing the other side as darker and darker or more dubious.

Are there other downsides to empathy?

[Empathizers] may overextend themselves. If you are a medical doctor who sees a lot of suffering and pain every day, it can very quickly become too much. Something like a third of medical doctors suffer from “empathy burnout” that is so severe that it affects their functioning as doctors and their personal life. They become the victim of feeling empathy.
My note: and some therapists can suffer of “hollow” empathy – an empathy not as a human feeling but as a tool to extend their ability/control in the room.
Also, “MInnesota Nice” can acquire a rather different meaning seen through the lens of this research

My core argument here is that in many cases of altruistic help or humanitarian aid, people actually don’t really empathize as much with the person in need. They identify more with the helper, the hero, the person who intervenes even if it’s an imaginary helper.

If you want recognition and if that doesn’t come, it can turn into resentment.

we can learn to use empathy in a somewhat controlled way. We can learn when to block it, when to not allow empathy to be manipulated and when to fully turn it on.

Yes, we are born with empathy, but it needs constant practice [to know] when to use it and when not to use it. So the dark sides are so important to know because they teach us that in some cases you shouldn’t empathize.

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more on empathy in this IMS blog
https://blog.stcloudstate.edu/ims?s=empathy

Empathy Important For Parents And Teens

How Empathy Is Important For Parents And Teens When Things Get Stressful

https://www.kqed.org/mindshift/48036/how-empathy-is-important-for-parents-and-teens-when-things-get-stressful
It’s difficult to have a teenager’s mind. The brain develops rapidly during the adolescent years, which partially explains why teens experience anger, sadness and frustration so intensely.
2014 survey published by the American Psychological Association found that teens report feeling even more stressed than adults, and that this affects them in unhealthy ways.
Sheryl Gonzalez Ziegler, a psychologist in Denver, Colo., explains, “When teens are overwhelmed, parents may try to connect with their kids’ feelings by drawing on their own childhood experiences.

In a 2016 longitudinal study of 497 Dutch teens between the ages of 13 and 18, researchers found that cognitive empathy skills help teens regulate their emotions, improve their listening skills and strengthen their ability to tolerate conflict. They also found that these skills can help kids work through disagreements with their parents more constructively.

Research on teen stress by David Yeager, a psychologist at the University of Texas at Austin, shows that cognitive empathy skills can also help adolescents to realize that people and situations can change, which allows them to face social challenges more easily.

VR and empathy

Virtual Reality Helps Hospice Workers See Life And Death Through A Patient’s Eyes

December 27, 201812:18 PM ET KATHLEEN BURGE

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/12/27/675377939/enter-title

Researchers have discovered that virtual reality simulations like this one, can make viewers more empathetic to people they virtually embody: people of different races; people with colorblindness; even an avatar of an older version of themselves.

The United Nations has created about 20 virtual reality films, including one about a 12-year-old Syrian refugee and another profiling a Liberian woman whose family died from Ebola.

Last month, Stanford University’s Virtual Human Interaction Lab, which studies the link between virtual reality and empathy, found that people shown an immersive VR film built around the experience of a homeless man

In medicine, virtual reality has been used to reduce pain, help stroke victims recover, and allow doctors to plan and watch surgery.

At the Royal Trinity Hospice in London, a dying woman and her husband revisited Venice, where they had gotten engaged — the simulation was part of a larger study about VR’s effect on physical and psychological symptoms at the end of life. Another woman walked the beaches of the Maldives. A third returned to Jerusalem, the city where she grew up.

Virtual reality may also encourage people to plan for the end of life, says Marilyn Gugliucci, director of geriatric education and research at the College of Osteopathic Medicine.

 

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More on virtual reality and empathy in this IMS blog:
https://blog.stcloudstate.edu/ims?s=virtual+reality+empathy

How To Raise a Child Who Cares

How To Raise a Child Who Cares

https://blog.ed.ted.com/2018/12/14/how-to-raise-a-child-who-cares/

Daniel J. Siegel is clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine, the founding co-director of the UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center, and executive director of the Mindsight Institute. He is also the author of several books, including the New York Times bestsellers “Brainstorm” and, with Tina Payne Bryson, “The Whole-Brain Child” and “No-Drama Discipline.”

Tina Payne Bryson is a pediatric and adolescent psychotherapist and the Founder and Executive Director of The Center for Connection in Pasadena, California. She is also is the co-author, with Daniel J. Siegel, of the New York Times bestsellers “The Whole-Brain Child” and “No-Drama Discipline.”

Nelson, B. W., Parker, S. C., & Siegel, D. J. (2014). Interpersonal neurobiology, mindsight, and integration: The mind, relationships, and the brain. In K. Brandt, B. D. Perry, S. Seligman, & E. Tronick (Eds.), Infant and early childhood mental health: Core concepts and clinical practice. (pp. 129–144). Arlington, VA: American Psychiatric Publishing, Inc. Retrieved from http://login.libproxy.stcloudstate.edu/login?qurl=http%3a%2f%2fsearch.ebscohost.com%2flogin.aspx%3fdirect%3dtrue%26db%3dpsyh%26AN%3d2014-01143-008%26site%3dehost-live%26scope%3dsite

Siegel, D. J. (2012). The developing mind: How relationships and the brain interact to shape who we are, 2nd ed. New York, NY: Guilford Press. Retrieved from http://login.libproxy.stcloudstate.edu/login?qurl=http%3a%2f%2fsearch.ebscohost.com%2flogin.aspx%3fdirect%3dtrue%26db%3dpsyh%26AN%3d2012-12726-000%26site%3dehost-live%26scope%3dsite

Siegel, D. J. (2001). Toward an interpersonal neurobiology of the developing mind: Attachment relationships, “mindsight,” and neural integration. Infant Mental Health Journal22(1/2), 67–94. Retrieved from http://login.libproxy.stcloudstate.edu/login?qurl=http%3a%2f%2fsearch.ebscohost.com%2flogin.aspx%3fdirect%3dtrue%26db%3dkeh%26AN%3d11772284%26site%3dehost-live%26scope%3dsite

Siegel, D. J. (2004). Attachment and Self-Understanding: Parenting with the Brain in Mind. Journal of Prenatal & Perinatal Psychology & Health18(4), 273–285. Retrieved from http://login.libproxy.stcloudstate.edu/login?qurl=http%3a%2f%2fsearch.ebscohost.com%2flogin.aspx%3fdirect%3dtrue%26db%3dpsyh%26AN%3d2004-17965-002%26site%3dehost-live%26scope%3dsite

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more on empathy in this IMS blog
https://blog.stcloudstate.edu/ims?s=empathy

empathy parents teens

How Empathy Is Important For Parents And Teens When Things Get Stressful

The brain develops rapidly during the adolescent years, which partially explains why teens experience anger, sadness and frustration so intensely.
2014 survey published by the American Psychological Association found that teens report feeling even more stressed than adults, and that this affects them in unhealthy ways. Approximately 30 percent of the 1,018 teens surveyed reported feeling sad, overwhelmed or depressed, and 25 percent said that they had skipped meals because of their anxiety.

Sheryl Gonzalez Ziegler, a psychologist in Denver, Colo., explains, “When teens are overwhelmed, parents may try to connect with their kids’ feelings by drawing on their own childhood experiences. They may say things like, “When I was fourteen, I had a job, and I still did my homework and made time for my friends. I know that you can do this, too.'”

They mean well when they try to connect with their teens in this comparative way, but often it prompts a communication breakdown.

Instead:

When I was your age, I had difficulty with my friends. I felt confused, and my heart was broken, too.”

She says that these disclosures remind kids that even if technology is different, human emotions are the same. Parents can bond with their kids by focusing on these similarities.

It’s particularly important to teach adolescents how to develop a specific type of empathy called cognitive empathy

If empathy helps us sympathize with how another person is feeling, cognitive empathy also allows us to try to understand someone else’s perspective and how they perceive the world, even when our feelings differ.

Because teenagers are so emotionally driven, they may be prone to react in exaggerated ways. Hence, a conflict with a teacher, a clash with a friend or an unanswered text can feel like the end of the world. By strengthening their cognitive empathy, teens can develop an emotional pause button, which reminds them that even when feelings take over, stressful circumstances are temporary.

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more on empathy in this IMS blog
https://blog.stcloudstate.edu/ims?s=empathy

achievement or empathy

Sending Mixed Message: Do Parents Value Kids’ Achievement Over Empathy?
By MindShift JUNE 26, 2014

Sending Mixed Message: Do Parents Value Kids’ Achievement Over Empathy?

Jessica Lahey explains the rhetoric gap in an Atlantic article

80 percent of the youths surveyed reported that their parents ‘are more concerned about achievement or happiness than caring for others.’ Approximately the same percentage reported that their teachers prioritize student achievement over caring.

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more on empathy in this IMS blog
https://blog.stcloudstate.edu/ims?s=empathyhttps://blog.stcloudstate.edu/ims?s=empathy

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