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My Paper’s Due, But It’s Happy Hour- Managing FOMO

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FOMO stands for “fear of missing out.” This is something I feel almost every Friday and Saturday night when I see my Snapchat friends taking shots, dancing, and looking like they’re having a great time. In all honesty, I’m not a big fan of St. Cloud’s downtown bar scene or house parties. I’ve gone to enough house parties to know I usually have a better time staying home and chilling with two or three friends.

I also know how easy it is to make the bar and parties look way more fun than they are on Snapchat, I’m guilty of it myself.

The above video depicts a fun, care free night with friends. In reality, the two roommates pictured and I got into a screaming match, all ended up crying and didn’t speak to each other for a week.

Even knowing all of this, I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out on something, or that the next night might be different, or that people will think I’m lame and antisocial if I don’t go out. On the other hand, my roommate, Madi, doesn’t feel this way at all. Some nights, my FOMO gets the best of me and I force myself to go Downtown and socialize while Madi says, “No, I’ll go out when I wanna go out.” She never feels like she’s missing out and refuses to make herself feel guilty for not wanting to go Downtown.

I asked Madi what she does to avoid FOMO and she said, “I just know it (going Downtown) sucks every time. I used to think Downtown would be more fun than house parties, then I turned 21 and went out a few times and it still wasn’t fun. So, I know I’m not missing anything and don’t feel bad about it.” While that may work for Madi, it doesn’t work for me so I need to know some other ways that I can manage my FOMO.

College Magazine provides a list of 10 Reasons You Shouldn’t Feel FOMO in College:

1. REMEMBER HOW GROSS PARTIES REALLY GET

a. let’s not forget that parties are usually sweaty, sticky, and too loud to hear yourself think.

2. THINK ABOUT THE HANGOVER YOU’RE AVOIDING

a. Even though I’m only 21, my hangovers are so debilitating I can’t -or won’t- get out of bed for at least three days (see video below).

3. DO SOMETHING YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO DO

a. I like to spend my weekends binge watching Netflix or YouTube videos., shopping, having wine nights, or cooking with my roommates.

One Weekend We Made Pancake and Sausage Muffins

4. HANG OUT WITH A FRIEND

5. TREAT YOURSELF

a. Take the weekend to indulge in some much needed self-care. Reward yourself with some relaxation after a week of class, studying, and work.

6. GET INVOLVED WITH “CHEM/Substance-FREE” CLUBS

a. Substance-free clubs are clubs dedicated to providing alternative activities and events, other than drinking, on weekends for students. Even if you don’t want to join a substance-free club, find a club on campus that holds weekend events that interest you. Take this time to explore a new hobby and get involved on campus.

7. AVOID SOCIAL MEDIA

8. CHANGE YOUR HABITS

a. Try and switch up your routine on the weekend. For example, if you usually have a movie night on Saturdays, try going bowling or having a bonfire. Doing the same thing every weekend gets boring for anybody.

9. DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY

a. If you know going Downtown and drinking won’t make you happy, then don’t do it. Be realistic with yourself and only do the things you want to do.

10. PRACTICE GRATITUDE

This night, I conquered my FOMO and spent the night at a movie with two friends rather than forcing myself to go Downtown.

I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder my freshman year of college. A symptom of my anxiety is constantly worrying and stressing about the unknown and everything I think I “should” be doing; for example, if I have a weekend off of work, I convince myself that I’m lazy and a loser if I don’t use that free time to go Downtown with everyone else.

I tend to feel extremely guilty, to the point of self-isolation, if I don’t fulfill these perceived social responsibilities.

It’s been found that. “a number of anxiety disorders, such as social anxiety disorder and separation anxiety disorder, include dimensions of worry related to what others are doing while out of one’s presence.” (Sleep In the Social World of College Students). This explains the connection or vicious cycle between my anxious feelings and behaviors surrounding FOMO, or worrying about what I’m missing.

This Weekend I Conquered FOMO By Going To The Lake For a Social Media-Cleanse

That same article states, “FOMO may tend to emerge more readily among a subset of students who have low levels of life satisfaction, self-competence, autonomy, or connection to others, and/or low mood, and/or it may [stem from] interactions or experiences that promote social comparison, such as the use of social media,” as other possible causes of FOMO. One way to combat this is improving sleep habits. Going to sleep earlier and avoiding your phone before bed are two ways to do this.

 

There are links between FOMO and anxiety disorders, but they aren’t the only cause.

FOMO can impact anyone and is often worsened by social media. With social media, we’re constantly aware of where everyone is and how much fun it is there.

The grass always seems greener, especially when Snapchat and Instagram filters are used. In the article, “Sleep in the Social World of College Students: Bridging Interpersonal Stress and Fear of Missing Out with Mental Health by Sue K. Adams, Karla K. Murdock, Meada Daly-Cano and Meredith Rose,” FOMO is described as, “an individual’s all-consuming sense that others are engaging in rewarding experiences in their absence” (2020).

The key word here is, ‘all-consuming.’ I thought this was worth noting because sometimes when my FOMO feels especially strong, it also ruins my night at home. It can be difficult to get past feeling excluded– often times it leaves me feeling emotionally overwhelmed, tired, guilty, and inadequate.

Due to this, a social media-cleanse or just turning your phone off for the night can be a great way to cope with FOMO.

This Night I Forced Myself To Go Out and Ended Up With A Broken Heel and Crying

“Out of sight, out of mind” is a helpful mindset for combating FOMO; muting Instagram and Snapchat stories for the weekend is one way to avoid seeing what you may be missing and allows you to focus on yourself or friends in front of you.

 

It’s also helpful to remind yourself that social media is everyone’s highlight real, no one is advertising the moments they feel inadequate or overwhelmed on Instagram.

 

Pets During Finals Week- I Like Dogs but is it Helpful?

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I initially adopted a cat because I wanted a cute, snuggly friend to hang out with when my roommates were gone. I adopted my cat, Snooki, in September 2018 from the St. Cloud Tri-County Humane Society. She was a two month old, cuddly black Bombay cat, whom I fell in love with instantly. I didn’t anticipate how getting Snooki would impact my mental health.

I didn’t think I’d generally be in a better mood throughout the day, but it feels good to have someone excited to see me and waiting for me to get home every day. It also feels good to care for another living creature; I live a very selfish life style- I live with my friends and my only responsibilities revolve around bettering my own life- but suddenly, I have a roommate that relies on me to eat, drink, stay clean and healthy, and feel loved.

Admittingly, I’d been skeptical about the legitimacy of therapy pets. There tends to be misconceptions about therapy pets and emotional support animals (ESA). Some critics think it’s an excuse for people to be able to bring their pets everywhere they go or a way to sneak pets into pet-free apartments. Universities also use therapy pets to comfort and “destress’ their students during finals week. But are therapy pets really helpful for students? Or are pets on campus a weak attempt at stress mitigation?

The short answer is, yes, pets on campus are helpful for mitigating student stress levels, especially during finals week. This isn’t to say that getting a pet will be a quick fix for a depressive episode or that snuggling a dog will melt all your stress away; pets are a commitment that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

However, studies have found that there is legitimacy and proven benefits to pet therapy. According to a study conducted on the effects of pet therapy on stress levels, “findings revealed a statistically significant effect on heart rate (HR) from before to after pet therapy (PT). This study also found that exposure to pet therapy had the most significant impact on subjective stress responses, specifically self-reported stress and anxiety levels” (Ein, et al., pp. 486). These findings are consistent with my experience. After getting Snooki, daily stress and anxiety feels more manageable. I found that if I can keep this cat alive and give her all the love I have, then I could do the same for myself.

Pet therapy has proven to be a quick intervention and to have a variety of benefits, particularly within mental health settings such as hospitals and schools. Having animals in schools can “increase alertness or arousal due to the social engagement that occurs with the animals” (Palley et al., 2012). In our study, students were clearly animated in their responses to and interactions with the therapy dogs (Crump and Derting, pp. 575). Luckily, these interactions don’t have to be long in order to reap the benefits.

The PAwS study found, “Even with a time limited intervention of 15 minutes, spending time with dogs, [daily or during exam periods], can reduce both perceived stress and biological markers of stress (blood pressure) in University students” (Wood, et al., pp. 264). This means, taking a 15-minute study break to play with your pet can be a productive way to refresh and possibly perceive the assignment to be more manageable and less stressful.

As studies have shown, there is legitimacy to therapy pets, both on campuses and within the home. Getting a pet can be a great way to decrease stress levels, but it is still a responsibility that requires dedication, commitment, and love.

Adopting my cat has proven to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. While I can’t speak for a decreased heart rate or blood pressure, I can attest that interacting with my cat is comforting and helps to perceive my stress as more manageable.  That being said, next time your university has pets on campus, consider stopping by; at the very least, you’ll get to see some cute dogs and cats, like the ones available for adoption at the St. Cloud Humane Society pictured below.

 

 

 

 

References

Crump, Chesika, and Terry L. Derting. “Effects of pet therapy on the psychological and physiological stress levels of first-year female undergraduates.” North American Journal of Psychology, vol. 17, no. 3, 2015, p. 575. Gale OneFile: Educator’s Reference Complete, https://link-gale-com.libproxy.stcloudstate.edu/apps/doc/A435796037/PROF?u=stcloud_main&sid=PROF&xid=66681502. Accessed 14 Feb. 2020.

Ein, Natalie, et al. “The Effect of Pet Therapy on the Physiological and Subjective Stress Response: A Meta‐analysis.” Stress & Health: Journal of the International Society for the Investigation of Stress, vol. 34, no. 4, Oct. 2018, pp. 477–489. EBSCOhost, search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=s3h&AN=132394675&site=ehost-live&scope=site.

Wood, Emily, et al. “The Feasibility of Brief Dog-Assisted Therapy on University Students Stress Levels: The PAwS Study.” Journal of Mental Health, vol. 27, no. 3, June 2018, pp. 263–268. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1080/09638237.2017.1385737.