FOMO stands for “fear of missing out.” This is something I feel almost every Friday and Saturday night when I see my Snapchat friends taking shots, dancing, and looking like they’re having a great time. In all honesty, I’m not a big fan of St. Cloud’s downtown bar scene or house parties. I’ve gone to enough house parties to know I usually have a better time staying home and chilling with two or three friends.
I also know how easy it is to make the bar and parties look way more fun than they are on Snapchat, I’m guilty of it myself.
The above video depicts a fun, care free night with friends. In reality, the two roommates pictured and I got into a screaming match, all ended up crying and didn’t speak to each other for a week.
Even knowing all of this, I can’t help but feel like I’m missing out on something, or that the next night might be different, or that people will think I’m lame and antisocial if I don’t go out. On the other hand, my roommate, Madi, doesn’t feel this way at all. Some nights, my FOMO gets the best of me and I force myself to go Downtown and socialize while Madi says, “No, I’ll go out when I wanna go out.” She never feels like she’s missing out and refuses to make herself feel guilty for not wanting to go Downtown.
I asked Madi what she does to avoid FOMO and she said, “I just know it (going Downtown) sucks every time. I used to think Downtown would be more fun than house parties, then I turned 21 and went out a few times and it still wasn’t fun. So, I know I’m not missing anything and don’t feel bad about it.” While that may work for Madi, it doesn’t work for me so I need to know some other ways that I can manage my FOMO.
College Magazine provides a list of 10 Reasons You Shouldn’t Feel FOMO in College:
1. REMEMBER HOW GROSS PARTIES REALLY GET
a. let’s not forget that parties are usually sweaty, sticky, and too loud to hear yourself think.
2. THINK ABOUT THE HANGOVER YOU’RE AVOIDING
a. Even though I’m only 21, my hangovers are so debilitating I can’t -or won’t- get out of bed for at least three days (see video below).
3. DO SOMETHING YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO DO
a. I like to spend my weekends binge watching Netflix or YouTube videos., shopping, having wine nights, or cooking with my roommates.
One Weekend We Made Pancake and Sausage Muffins
4. HANG OUT WITH A FRIEND
5. TREAT YOURSELF
a. Take the weekend to indulge in some much needed self-care. Reward yourself with some relaxation after a week of class, studying, and work.
6. GET INVOLVED WITH “CHEM/Substance-FREE” CLUBS
a. Substance-free clubs are clubs dedicated to providing alternative activities and events, other than drinking, on weekends for students. Even if you don’t want to join a substance-free club, find a club on campus that holds weekend events that interest you. Take this time to explore a new hobby and get involved on campus.
7. AVOID SOCIAL MEDIA
8. CHANGE YOUR HABITS
a. Try and switch up your routine on the weekend. For example, if you usually have a movie night on Saturdays, try going bowling or having a bonfire. Doing the same thing every weekend gets boring for anybody.
9. DO SOMETHING THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY
a. If you know going Downtown and drinking won’t make you happy, then don’t do it. Be realistic with yourself and only do the things you want to do.
10. PRACTICE GRATITUDE
This night, I conquered my FOMO and spent the night at a movie with two friends rather than forcing myself to go Downtown.
I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder my freshman year of college. A symptom of my anxiety is constantly worrying and stressing about the unknown and everything I think I “should” be doing; for example, if I have a weekend off of work, I convince myself that I’m lazy and a loser if I don’t use that free time to go Downtown with everyone else.
I tend to feel extremely guilty, to the point of self-isolation, if I don’t fulfill these perceived social responsibilities.
It’s been found that. “a number of anxiety disorders, such as social anxiety disorder and separation anxiety disorder, include dimensions of worry related to what others are doing while out of one’s presence.” (Sleep In the Social World of College Students). This explains the connection or vicious cycle between my anxious feelings and behaviors surrounding FOMO, or worrying about what I’m missing.
This Weekend I Conquered FOMO By Going To The Lake For a Social Media-Cleanse
That same article states, “FOMO may tend to emerge more readily among a subset of students who have low levels of life satisfaction, self-competence, autonomy, or connection to others, and/or low mood, and/or it may [stem from] interactions or experiences that promote social comparison, such as the use of social media,” as other possible causes of FOMO. One way to combat this is improving sleep habits. Going to sleep earlier and avoiding your phone before bed are two ways to do this.
There are links between FOMO and anxiety disorders, but they aren’t the only cause.
FOMO can impact anyone and is often worsened by social media. With social media, we’re constantly aware of where everyone is and how much fun it is there.
The grass always seems greener, especially when Snapchat and Instagram filters are used. In the article, “Sleep in the Social World of College Students: Bridging Interpersonal Stress and Fear of Missing Out with Mental Health by Sue K. Adams, Karla K. Murdock, Meada Daly-Cano and Meredith Rose,” FOMO is described as, “an individual’s all-consuming sense that others are engaging in rewarding experiences in their absence” (2020).
The key word here is, ‘all-consuming.’ I thought this was worth noting because sometimes when my FOMO feels especially strong, it also ruins my night at home. It can be difficult to get past feeling excluded– often times it leaves me feeling emotionally overwhelmed, tired, guilty, and inadequate.
Due to this, a social media-cleanse or just turning your phone off for the night can be a great way to cope with FOMO.
This Night I Forced Myself To Go Out and Ended Up With A Broken Heel and Crying
“Out of sight, out of mind” is a helpful mindset for combating FOMO; muting Instagram and Snapchat stories for the weekend is one way to avoid seeing what you may be missing and allows you to focus on yourself or friends in front of you.
It’s also helpful to remind yourself that social media is everyone’s highlight real, no one is advertising the moments they feel inadequate or overwhelmed on Instagram.