I decided that I would like to talk about 2 social injustices. One on how I, as a Christian, was persecuted for trusting in the bible, and two, how the bible made me judgmental of everything that came against what I perceived as true from the bible, like homosexuality, same sex marriage, sex outside of marriage and the like.  I will also touch on how I tried to use the word in every facet of life, from giving advice to rebuking the devil and others who contradicted my judgement and therefore God’s judgment. I picked this topic because it offers both sides of the argument and explains how both parties were being discriminated. I have learned though and will continue to learn while writing this essay, and beyond, that to live in this life and to be a good person you have to put judgments aside, otherwise you won’t make it. This topic has made me challenge my beliefs, and I have decided to not be a Christian, partly because of the other side that I wouldn’t look at. Part of my essay will include bits of history about Native Americans and what the bible, coupled with white Europeans, did to them in the name of greed masked by a plight of reform and making the native people a civilized race along with the whites. This essay will also involve facets of my mental disability and how I came to be a christian and have the views I had regarding judgement.

It happened 4 years ago when I was released from prison. I had been baptized there and was looking to live a christian life . I started hearing very small and subtle voices in my head saying, “daaaavvviiiddd, daviiiiiiddddd, daviiiidddd!” The only logical course for me was to ask, “What? Who is this?” Then the voices gradually got stronger and louder and started saying to me, “your worthless,” or “wiiise choices,”or, “if you didn’t want this then why’d you do what you did?” And another one they say is, “be gay,” and much more. No doubt a lot of you are probably wondering what voices in my head has to do with social injustice. To me? Everything! I thought these voices were demons come to persecute me for being a Christian, that’s when I really started taking everything in the bible literally and seriously, and consequently, when I started judging gay people along with pretty much the whole entire population of the world for not living by the bible, but living as sinners with no regret for what they were doing against God. This religion led me to live as a Christian monk at a monastery for a year until I realized, with all my praying, and chanting, and worshipping, none of these voices were going away, so there was only one of two conclusions, God condemned me, or, God doesn’t exist and I’m mentally ill. It took me awhile to face the music, even when I left the monastery to live with my Native American friend, Aliina. I didn’t want to believe it. This is where the story begins, this is where I really gave not being a christian a second thought because of the horrors Aliina’s ancestors went through. “How could God sit by while all this is happening, or let it happen?” “He isn’t real, or he wants this to happen, which is sick and demented.” This woman played the horrors of her ancestry back to me time and time again after I invoked God as part of one of our conversations, or arguments. She asked me, “how can a god let slavery happen?” I found myself questioning that, along with many other terrible happenings from the past and the present. This isn’t what I mean by discrimination.

When Aliina saw me reading the bible in her room she said to me, “why is that book in my room,” or “what makes that book so special that you trust in it whole heartedly,” my answer was “faith,” and she laughed. “David, its just a damn book that men wrote a long time ago to keep order,” “Jesus was a good person, thats all he was, a good person that got killed like Martin Luther King, he isn’t the son of God!!” Then came the talk. “When whites came over here, we, Native Americans fed them, and showed them how to hunt and fish so they wouldn’t starve to death and what did they do in return? Raped and murdered women and children and killed the men of the tribes. Then the ones they didn’t kill they made march the trail of tears to reservations, many died on the way there. Then they made us forget our traditions to pick up their traditions, made us wear white people clothes and taught us the bible. They seeked to make white men and women out of the natives.” I could not refute the latter without preaching to her and making her mad so I kept silent. “Why is she attacking my religion?” “Is she with the voices in my head? The demons?” “Its like she’s trying to get me to quit being a Christian.” Sometimes the conversations were about what was on the t.v, “Trannies have there own show now?” “Whats wrong with that David? Your stupid bible is making you judge people, you know, in my culture gay people were celebrated because the Creator endowed them with wisdom more so than the rest of us.” I almost laughed, “The bible says that the sexually immoral will have their reward in the lake of fire, I don’t want to hear this gay crap.” “Maybe your gay David, don’t your voices tell you to be gay?”

Judge not, lest you be judged. I judged Aliina for being a liberal and I attacked her heritage in the process. Aliina then judged me and that book I read, in turn insulting my religion. These attacks on both sides separated us naturally and we almost quit being friends. I used to believe in obeying your master, even if they are harsh or fools, like President Trump. Don’t gossip against them or put them dont like the news does, so I defended him when Aliina bashed him one time. She told me, “if your going to be a trump supporter then we are not friends.” I hung up on her. Then I thought about it, “I don’t know enough about trump and republicans to let this ruin our friendship,” so I called her back and told her that and apologized. This is the story of all my judgments when I was a Christian, my Christianity pushed not only Aliina away from me but many others. I didn’t hide it, I wore it on my shoulder. It wasn’t until I really started thinking about everything, from this conversation to slaughter in America right down to the voices in my head that I really started thinking, maybe I’m wrong.