Speaking about relationship and dating, how many times did you ask yourself “what if?” What if we were just friends? What if we didn’t break up? What if I told him/her what I really felt on that moment?  This question turned to be a good writing prompt for me and made me write this story about one of my relationships that I had a long time ago. No real names, no concrete dates, just a story. 

What did not happen to me?

I used to believe that one day we would get married. Because people said we were the perfect couple. We were both blond, tall, full of ambition and crazy about each other. Too crazy I would say. Overall, we dated for about two years. I was the most welcome guest in his family, so was he in mine.  Him and my mom became the bests friends which sometimes drove me mad. Everyone, including me, was sure we would get married. But we did not.

Scenario 1

The proposal, marriage, and “goodbye master’s degree”

If I had not broken up with him, sooner or later he would have proposed me. He would have done it before my graduation from university, to make sure I was not going to apply for any M.A. programs. Otherwise, I would not have been able to dedicate myself to family, to become a good and caring wife. If I had agreed on that, I would have given up this “crazy idea” of continuing my education. I would also have limited my communication with my best friends because they had a “bad influence on me and took too much of my time.” Of course, we would have invited them to our wedding, but shortly I would have stopped going out with them. I would not have sung with my girls in karaoke anymore. No bars. No drinks. No stupid jokes. No friends. Even if I did so, I would have always invited my husband to join us. Because that is how it is supposed to be – always together. Anytime and anywhere.

Scenario 2

Moving away from home

While XX and I were dating, he had a job offer from some petroleum company. If he had accepted it, we would have moved to the Russian High North. His father would have found a place for me in the same company. I would have been a written translator, working in the office from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday-Friday. I would have earned about $460 a month, a salary (“fair enough for a woman,” right?) Anyway, my husband would have got much more than I did, and I should not have been worried about money at all.

I would have called my parents sometimes and tried to keep back tears not to make them feel worried. My husband would have soothed me and promised me that we would come to my hometown one day. Together. I would not have gone without him anywhere.

I might have called his parents too. His dad would have asked me if XX treated me well. If I had said no, he would have given my husband a good kick in the ass, explaining to his son that the world had been not spinning around him. That he had to be responsible for his wife and care of me as much as I cared for him. They would have had some arguments but finally, it would have been fine. Everything would have been fine. Except for me.

Scenario 3

Kids

In a few years, we would have had children because everything should be done in time. The kids would have had blond hair just like their parents did. They would have had the short temper of their father or saintly patience of their mother. I would have started hating my life, dreaming to escape the prison I was trapped in, but it would have been too late.

One day I would have had a nervous breakdown. After some stormy arguments and numerous negotiations, we would have finally got divorced. Then I would have had to start my life from the very beginning.

Eventually…

None of these happened. That story would have been continuing for years if XX had not left me for a one-month business trip in 20YY. It would have been continuing if one day I hadn’t heard him yelling at me over the phone for…not checking the phone frequently enough and not missing him enough. Once I realized how much better I felt without that person, everything was over.

Does any of these sounds familiar to you? How often do you think women might be stuck in abusive relationship? How often do you think they choose to end it?