Women in Afghanistan. Part 2. A different perspective

In the previous post, three Afghan women shared their opinion on women’s position in their home country. Apart from them, we also interviewed two people from other countries who lived in Afghanistan a while ago (each participant has a code name). The questions were the same:

1) How do you define women’s position in Afghanistan today?

2)Are there any resources that help women to protect their rights or support them? What resources does Afghanistan have?

3)What action do you think people might begin taking right now to achieve gender equality?

Here is what our participants shared:

Satara, UK, 56 years old 

1)How do you define women’s position in Afghanistan today?

There are many strong women in Afghanistan who desire to be seen, heard and respected. However, women are often treated as if they are second class citizens. They often have no voice; their opinion is not asked or counted. They can be characterized by men, as being less than they are, not equal to them or even deficient in some way. They ae routinely discriminated against and they do not have equality of opportunity or equal rights.

2)Are there any resources that help women to protect their rights or support them? What resources does Afghanistan have?

The biggest resource that women have is themselves; their passion their resilience and their will for change. There are women in Afghanistan who sacrifice much to represent other women and get their voices heard. They are an amazing resource. Organizations which support women to work collaboratively and enhance their voice are also a great resource. These internal resources can also be supported by international bodies who might have more power to enact change

 3) What action do you think people might begin taking right now to achieve gender equality?

Every small action counts. Every challenge to the way something is done. Every point where a woman holds her ground against discrimination, every organisational policy which allows equal opportunity. There is a challenge for organisations in Afghanistan. They need to take responsibility for their part of the problem and to act to fight for equality. They need to support programmes and policies which give women their rightful position and to model good practice.

S., United States, 35 years old 

1)How do you define women’s position in Afghanistan today?

I am something of an outside observer, as an American man who worked in Afghanistan, so I’m not an expert. But sometimes outsiders can see things that insiders can’t. I think there have been some gains in the past 20 years and there are some opportunities for advancement, especially for higher classes. For a majority of women and for those without access to education, I think the gender gap is still very large. And even for educated women, they may face significant discouragement from within their own families (I’m making the point here that inequality in Afghanistan is not only a matter of laws and structures but also culture). Also, because of a depressed economy, job opportunities are still few in general.

 2) Are there any resources that help women to protect their rights or support them? What resources does Afghanistan have?

There are some NGOs which run vocational training programs for women, and protection centers for women fleeing domestic violence, but these are very decentralized and may not be available to the whole population, especially in rural areas. Women’s shelters are also misunderstood culturally and have a negative stigma attached to them.

3) What action do you think people might begin taking right now to achieve gender equality?

I think cultural change needs to happen. If the government only passes laws and these are viewed as imposing Western ideas, then broad change will not happen. I think that thought leaders and communities need to come up with Afghan and Islamic justifications for why women’s rights is important and why violence against women is wrong. Even terminology such as “human rights” often carries a negative connotation in Afghan culture – it is viewed as a Western idea which promotes immorality and un-Islamic values. Research should identify more helpful, locally appropriate terminology.

Other than this, I think increased economic development and access to education and technology, especially in rural areas, will help.

Women in Afghanistan. Part 1

In our recent Facebook post, we shared the perspectives of three women from different parts of the world on the issue of gender inequality that they saw in their home counties. This time, we will focus on a particular country – Afghanistan – to see what struggles women are getting through there.
To contribute to the #DearDaughter project, three Afghan women (some names have been changed by the request of the participants) agreed to answer the following questions:

1) How do you define women’s position in Afghanistan today?

2) Are there any resources that help women to protect their rights or support them? What resources does Afghanistan have?

3) What action do you think people might begin taking right now to achieve gender equality?

Here is what we have collected:

Latifa, 30 years old 

1)How do you define women’s position in Afghanistan today? The women who are doing their best to take their lost rights.

2) Are there any resources that help women to protect their rights or support them? What resources does Afghanistan have? There are many projects from different national and international organizations like UN, USAID, OXFAM, WAW, The Colombo Plan, government, etc. Most of these organizations organize projects for women and provide education, advocacy, vocational skill training, support the women in their different cases, provides shelter and employment opportunities.

3) What action do you think people might begin taking right now to achieve gender equality? The government should focus on the fundamental steps and bring changes. The support should not be limited only to projects and women in big cities.

Support should start from home and the women should feel safe there. It can be possible by encouraging the family members for gender equality through education, advertisement, and religious gathering, as the people of Afghanistan are religious and strongly believe in what says in such gatherings.

Fatema Ahmadi, 32 years old 

1) How do you define women’s position in Afghanistan today? With considering 40 years of conflict in the country which affected all the people in different ways, men and women both have not been able to develop and find their best positions in society. However, this situation is even worse for women because they were considered as second citizens historically and women have not had their place in different eras. Women in Mojahedin and Taliban times had been in a very disappointing position no rights for education, work, development, and basically no right to have a voice. Women after the Taliban collapse with the support of international partners could participate in various practices in the county and they received important attention to show their desire for advocacy for their rights but even now women do not have meaningful participation in society. For example, offices, assign women in simple positions merely to complete the quota for women but if women want to be in leadership positions even the international community is not enough brave to challenge the patriotic men, tradition, and culture. Generally, Women need to have more support from national and international to get to their right position.

2)Are there any resources that help women to protect their rights or support them? What resources does Afghanistan have?  There are some national policies, mechanisms, and law to support women, but they are not very effective in practice. There are as following:

  1. AFGHANISTAN’S NATIONAL ACTION PLAN ON UNSCR 1325-WOMEN, PEACE, AND SECURITY
  2. Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW)
  • Elimination of Violence against Women (WVAW) committee in all provinces
  • violence against women (VAW)

3) What action do you think people might begin taking right now to achieve gender equality? Advocacy through national and international platforms and using social media to bring more people in this way.

AB, 31 years old 

1) How do you define women’s position in Afghanistan today?
Gender inequality is obvious in Afghanistan. Due to the old culture and conservative environment, women do not engage in society. Most of the Afghan women are responsible for doing the housework and taking care of their families and children; though, a very limited number of women with open-minded families get involved in outside work and strive to improve their life situation.

2) Are there any resources that help women to protect their rights or support them? What resources does Afghanistan have?
There is Ministry of Women ’s Affairs which is responsible for facilitating women’s rights.

3) What action do you think people might begin taking right now to achieve gender equality?
Public awareness is the most important way to aware women, men, and families about women’s rights. Family members including men and women should collaboratively attempt to empower themselves and help each other in order to improve their lives. Afghan people need to reconsider their old and negative culture and accept the right and modern approaches to survive themselves. Women should not accept any oppression and their families should support them in this regard.

 

“What did not happen”

Speaking about relationship and dating, how many times did you ask yourself “what if?” What if we were just friends? What if we didn’t break up? What if I told him/her what I really felt on that moment?  This question turned to be a good writing prompt for me and made me write this story about one of my relationships that I had a long time ago. No real names, no concrete dates, just a story. 

What did not happen to me?

I used to believe that one day we would get married. Because people said we were the perfect couple. We were both blond, tall, full of ambition and crazy about each other. Too crazy I would say. Overall, we dated for about two years. I was the most welcome guest in his family, so was he in mine.  Him and my mom became the bests friends which sometimes drove me mad. Everyone, including me, was sure we would get married. But we did not.

Scenario 1

The proposal, marriage, and “goodbye master’s degree”

If I had not broken up with him, sooner or later he would have proposed me. He would have done it before my graduation from university, to make sure I was not going to apply for any M.A. programs. Otherwise, I would not have been able to dedicate myself to family, to become a good and caring wife. If I had agreed on that, I would have given up this “crazy idea” of continuing my education. I would also have limited my communication with my best friends because they had a “bad influence on me and took too much of my time.” Of course, we would have invited them to our wedding, but shortly I would have stopped going out with them. I would not have sung with my girls in karaoke anymore. No bars. No drinks. No stupid jokes. No friends. Even if I did so, I would have always invited my husband to join us. Because that is how it is supposed to be – always together. Anytime and anywhere.

Scenario 2

Moving away from home

While XX and I were dating, he had a job offer from some petroleum company. If he had accepted it, we would have moved to the Russian High North. His father would have found a place for me in the same company. I would have been a written translator, working in the office from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday-Friday. I would have earned about $460 a month, a salary (“fair enough for a woman,” right?) Anyway, my husband would have got much more than I did, and I should not have been worried about money at all.

I would have called my parents sometimes and tried to keep back tears not to make them feel worried. My husband would have soothed me and promised me that we would come to my hometown one day. Together. I would not have gone without him anywhere.

I might have called his parents too. His dad would have asked me if XX treated me well. If I had said no, he would have given my husband a good kick in the ass, explaining to his son that the world had been not spinning around him. That he had to be responsible for his wife and care of me as much as I cared for him. They would have had some arguments but finally, it would have been fine. Everything would have been fine. Except for me.

Scenario 3

Kids

In a few years, we would have had children because everything should be done in time. The kids would have had blond hair just like their parents did. They would have had the short temper of their father or saintly patience of their mother. I would have started hating my life, dreaming to escape the prison I was trapped in, but it would have been too late.

One day I would have had a nervous breakdown. After some stormy arguments and numerous negotiations, we would have finally got divorced. Then I would have had to start my life from the very beginning.

Eventually…

None of these happened. That story would have been continuing for years if XX had not left me for a one-month business trip in 20YY. It would have been continuing if one day I hadn’t heard him yelling at me over the phone for…not checking the phone frequently enough and not missing him enough. Once I realized how much better I felt without that person, everything was over.


Does any of these sounds familiar to you? How often do you think women might be stuck in abusive relationship? How often do you think they choose to end it?

 

 

Women in History

How many historical female figures can you remember? Who were they? And how did you know about them?

If you google “women in history” or “women that changed the world” you will likely come across the names like Marie Curie, Margaret Thatcher, Cleopatra, Marylyn Monroe, Frida Kahlo, and Diana, the Princess of Wales among others. Most of us are likely to recognize their images and tell how each of those women marked places for themselves in the history books. What about others? What about women who were no less talented than those mentioned above, but eventually less promoted?

When I googled “women in history,” I came across a lot of names I haven’t heard of before. Among them there are the following:

  1. Florence Nightingale (1820-1910) “a British nurse, social reformer and statistician best known as the founder of modern nursing” 
  2. Marie Stopes (1880–1958) “advocate of birth control and sex educator”
  3. Elizabeth Fry (1780-1845) “philanthropist and one of the chief promoters of prison reform in Europe”  

…and many others.

As I read about them, I realized how little I knew about female figures in history. It is strange to think that everything we know about women might be just the tip of the iceberg, imagining how many talented women were muted throughout the years of history. Nevertheless, I am glad to know the times are changing, and we can at least unfold the history of the pages that once were hidden.

Sources:

“100 Women Who Changed the World.” HistoryExtra, 18 June 2020, www.historyextra.com/100-women/100-women-results/.

History.com Editors. “Florence Nightingale.” History.com, A&E Television Networks, 9 Nov. 2009, www.history.com/topics/womens-history/florence-nightingale-1.

“Elizabeth Fry.” Encyclopædia Britannica, Encyclopædia Britannica, Inc., 8 Oct. 2020, www.britannica.com/biography/Elizabeth-Fry

“Florence Nightingale.” Wikipedia, Wikimedia Foundation, 11 Nov. 2020, en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Florence_Nightingale.

Falcon-Lang, Howard. “The Secret Life of Dr Marie Stopes.” BBC News, BBC, 23 Aug. 2010, www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-11040319.

Being a Woman. Personal narrative

I remember two times in my life when I felt insulted by people’s comments related to me being a woman. The first incident took place in one of the classes back in my home country when I was pursuing my B.A. in teaching. Once I was giving a presentation to my groupmates, and a few times I stumbled over my words and said something incorrectly. My attempt to apologize to my groupmates was disrupted by the teacher who said that I was free to make any mistakes since I was a pretty woman with a nice voice and good manners. Saying that I was shocked to hear such a remark would be an understatement. I was angry. Frustrated. Furious. Because what I heard was that no one cared if I had any intelligence – it was all about my appearance. Another comment that I heard from a different person was related to taking up a job with an X the size of the salary mount salary which, according to him, would be fair enough for a woman. What the person meant was probably that there was a limit that a woman should never exceed when it comes to a career.

Does it sound familiar? Do you think it’s all fair?

For a while, I used to think it is. And unfortunately, many women from all over the world still have an assumption that they are what people might call “a weaker sex.” What can we do about it? Maybe…at least stop being silent and start talking about it? Even though it seems impossible to immediately solve the issue of women’s oppression and underrepresentation, I do believe people ought to be aware of such a problem because it is global.

Kseniia. Intro

My name is Kseniia, and I am a graduate student at St. Cloud State University. My passion for writing and sharing my stories led me to the program of Rhetoric and Writing, and here I am – a hopeless dreamer and aspiring storyteller. I am obsessed with fancy notebooks, planners, colorful crayons, and other stationeries that help me to turn writing and note-taking into a creative process. I also can’t imagine my life without trinkets, music, and hot green tea.

I am taking part in the “Dear Daughter” project because I believe that sometimes stories can change the world, especially if these stories are about something people don’t often discuss.

Let the conversation begin

You might have heard about gender bias, but have you ever experienced it? How many times have you heard how a woman should behave, what salary she deserves, or how many kids she is supposed to have? If some of this sounds familiar to you, we welcome you to read our blog. 

If you struggle to recall any of these remarks, you probably have pushed these thoughts to the back of your head because they happen often. Also, it’s a “price” of being a woman as some people will say. Just be aware that there are many women who hear remarks like the ones we mentioned above daily and experience unnecessary pressure due to the traditional gender roles that are still rooted in people’s minds. 

To contribute to the ongoing struggle with gender inequality, we invite you to join the conversation about the issues related to the oppression of women and our journey to achieve gender equity. In our blog, we will talk about and explore some of the issues that women of all ages should be aware of: gender equity in regard to pay, sexual discrimination, protecting reproductive rights, and managing the mental load that women carry. It is never too early to learn about gender equity. We invite everyone who supports women to listen to others and to tell their own stories. 

We can break this silence. Let’s get together and talk about what is happening to women in 2020. Let’s just talk.