Ebi

Music in my own life was just sounds, not necessarily notes on a staff, just sounds in general. As silly as it may be, sometimes I’ll sit at my desk for 10 minutes just clicking two pieces of chalk together because I liked the sound they made when they clicked. I can’t write a composition from the top of my head, but my ears vibrate with excitement when I hear notes or rhythms that are different, unexpected, or new. I’d say, it fulfills my curiosity in ways other subjects in school never could.

I remember the first time I really focused on sounds was when I was young and I’d bounce a tennis ball on the ground outside when my Dad was doing things (re-painting siding, cleaning gutters, talking to the neighbors for 30 minutes, etc). As a little kid, I had time to kill so I’d just bounce the tennis ball for hours but depending on how I threw the ball the sounds were different. I was so intrigued by this and I could never grow bored of it because I could always find a way to produce a new sound. Eventually, I started taking piano lessons and that opened my ears to a world of pitches. Having the ability to make music, gave me a sense of freedom and pride. I was so happy to find something I could understand and be interested in, my parents were also very satisfied with my interest as well and bought me a nice piano after about 3 years of private lessons (I still have the same piano in my room.)

The meaning of music to me has always stayed consistent and that’s to fill curiosity, achieve goals, and have fun. As a little kid, it filled my curiosity and that started a musical foundation in my life. Late elementary, I chose to become a music teacher. Middle school, I decided to become a band director and had a set goal to work towards. In high school, I was given resources and the support to get closer to my goal. Now, I’m here at a university still working towards the same goal I set about 8 years ago. Goals don’t have to take this long to achieve, they can be as little as 30 minutes of practice daily or listening to the piece you’re working on once a day. Goals, no matter how big or small, that help nurture growth and development are valuable. As a plus, if you’re having fun achieving those goals, that makes it more enjoyable to achieve and you’ll have good memories to look back on.

Depending on the type of music or if it’s a performance versus practice, the way I make music will be very different. Although a little crazy, I talk to myself A LOT! When I can verbally speak my mind, it gives me the ability to sort my thoughts. I don’t do this when other people are around because I get embarrassed and don’t want to distract others, but sometimes I still silently mouth the words I want to say. My most used quote is “Oh, hello!” when I play an incorrect note or unexpected sound (not incorrect, but not what I was expecting to hear either.)

I also stretch, wiggle, or jump to get myself hyped up. The physical movement distracts my nervousness temporarily and lets me clear my thoughts before I need to focus. This stemmed from high school during track and field (I was a thrower.) I started doing little jumps, wiggles, or fidgets before I had to throw discus or shot put. It was my little “ritual” before every throw so I could release my tension, focus on my goal, and produce results. Even a small rotation or readjustment with my hands on drum sticks or mallets is a result from my fidgeting.

Lastly, and probably the most meaningful to me, I breathe very deeply before I start playing (especially in a performance.) I know that doesn’t sound very unique or out-of-the-norm but a very long time ago I played in a piano recital and even though I’d played my performance piece multiple times with very little to no mistakes during practice and lessons, I froze up, crashed, and burned in front of about 36-45 people. After I was done playing I was very embarrassed, worried, and ashamed as I walked back to where my family was sitting and my Dad could tell I was upset. He asked me if I wanted to go for a short walk, so we left the recital a little early and walked around a nearby garden. My Dad’s way of consoling me is by telling a story from a similar experience or reviewing what happened and finding a solution so while I was trying my best not to cry he told me that I needed to learn how to breathe before I played to focus and slow down because everything feels like a rush when your doing a performance of any kind. I took his advice very seriously and started to take one deep breath before my concerts, solos, even sporting events. It became another “ritual” for me and it doesn’t work every time, but it calms me enough to still recover from my mistakes instead of giving up and getting upset right away.

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