One. Trust the process

• • I spent my first and year in the program second guessing everything! This happened again at the dissertation stage. I always assumed that I didn’t understand anything and even when I was told I’d understood correctly, I would find myself thinking: ” I need to double or triple-check that.” This led me to spend too much time worrying to the point that it interfered with my ability to enjoy just gaining knowledge. Can you imagine spending more time worried about writing 10 pages over the content material of the class? It has to end at some point.

Two. Cut the Clutter

• • I used to think having piles of paper made me look productive. Instead, it was just overwhelming. As I watched the pile grow taller, and I grew smaller. Although I am nearly done with my dissertation, just thinking about it makes my heart beat a little faster. I’ve learned to take small bites and keep notes on the literature of interest. Plus, I can always save those articles on my computer instead of printing everything and having it stare at me.

Three. Prioritize your Work

• • I found one and four on this list to be the most difficult. I started the program when my two daughters were 4 and 5. How could I take time away from those babies and leave them with Dad? Could he kiss their bruises like mommy? Do a twist braid and fold a load of laundry at the same time? Well, I found out that he can do anything I can do in his unique way. And they turned out fine- I do question the hairstyles :-D; but overall, they did more than just survive. This is a reminder that it’s okay to prioritize your work.

Four. Your Family Will be FINE.

• • See point three.

Five. Finish– Before you add more work for yourself. 

• • I think of this as learning to find humor in APA style before it changes, but the truth is, the more I put off finishing the more work I made for myself. There’s always a group this APA change happens to– finish in a timely manner so it doesn’t have to be you.

Six. Use an Editor.

• • Dr. Williams has me revising my work multiple times–sometimes in areas she’d previously missed. And my project is stronger for it. I have an editor and I can tell you, tis a special place in heaven for people who use an editor and people who do the editing. Don’t stress yourself out about the small things so you can focus on the main things: your study.

Seven. Choose your chair wisely.

• • A good Chair is pricless and will guide you to the finish line. Listen and learn. While the dissertation is your project, listening to your chair will help you to make it the best work possible–given the circumstances.

The bottom line is that I learned not to be hard on myself. I did my program the best that I could with the support of wonderful people. And, I refused to be shamed as a mother or wife. Although I realized that I can’t have everything at 100%, I have learned that I can negotiate my way to the end.