Month: September 2023

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Review

“Attack of the Killer Donuts” – A Deliciously Ridiculous Horror-Comedy Extravaganza

In the realm of cinematic absurdity, where over-the-top meets donut-shaped doom, “Attack of the Killer Donuts” emerges as a deep-fried delight that defies reason and taste buds alike. It’s a movie that throws sanity out the window faster than you can say “glazed and confused,” and it’s a blast – in every sense of the word. So, grab your favorite snacks (preferably not donuts) and get ready for a review that’s as sweetly absurd as the film itself.

“Attack of the Killer Donuts” plunges us into the quaint town of Grover’s Bend, where everything seems as mundane as a plain cake donut – until a freaky chemical mishap brings sentient donuts to life! Yes, you read that right, folks. Armed with insatiable appetites for human flesh (or maybe jelly), these doughy fiends embark on a hilarious and blood-sprinkled rampage. It’s a race against time for our motley crew of heroes, including a slacker, a donut shop worker, and a mad scientist, to save their town from becoming glazed carnage.

“Attack of the Killer Donuts” fully embraces its absurd premise, and that’s where its charm lies. It revels in its B-movie status, delivering dialogue and situations so cheesy you’d think they were crafted by dairy-fueled madmen. The humor is a delightful blend of intentional campiness and unintentional hilarity. You’ll find yourself chuckling at the sheer audacity of it all – from donuts rolling in gangster style to a donut-versus-human dance-off that must be seen to be believed. It’s a laugh riot that doesn’t take itself seriously for a second.

If you’re expecting top-tier CGI, think again. “Attack of the Killer Donuts” serves up a visual feast of practical effects that are so gloriously low-budget that they’re almost high art. The donuts in action are a spectacle to behold, each one more preposterous than the last. You’ll witness rubbery, animatronic pastries wreaking havoc, and it’s a deliciously terrible sight. The gore effects are equally campy, with fountains of fake blood that would make any horror aficionado giggle with glee.

“Attack of the Killer Donuts” is a cinematic sugar rush that defies logic, taste, and perhaps even the laws of nature. It’s a gleeful plunge into the world of B-movie madness, where absurdity reigns supreme. If you’re in the mood for a cinematic treat that leaves you both horrified and amused, this donut-fueled rampage is worth a bite. So, don your MST3K hat, gather your friends, and prepare for a sugar-induced, laugh-out-loud frenzy. Remember, it’s all in good fun, and sometimes, you just need a killer donut to brighten your day.

Rating: 4 out of 5 Doughy Demons

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It all started so many years ago…


Before we dive into our collection of terrible features, I wanted to take some time to discuss how I came to love “B” movies, the impact they had on Hollywood, and how they exist in the present day. 

Impressionable Youth

At this point in my life, I had exposure to some horror films through parental supervision. I had been allowed to see movies such as Gremlins 2 and Arachnophobia. Still, with my newfound unlimited video rental power, I wanted to explore the world of slashers, aliens, and supernatural forces. 

As I perused the shelves, flipping each of those boxes of hard plastic that contained the sleeves for the movies, I came across the face of a horribly burned man with knives on his fingers. My eyes scanned the box and read Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors. With such a great-sounding title, how could I not grab it?

After an hour and a half of watching Freddy Krueger transform into killer TVs, assault teens with giant Q-tips, and, in my opinion, the best Freddy kill ever, slash open a teenager and use their veins to control them as a marionette, I was hooked on Freddy.  

Over the following summer, I rented every film I could find that contained a supernatural killer. I spent that summer laughing at the ridiculous responses that so many of the killer’s victims had. Gasping at how they died and cheering for the protagonist, who happened to stumble across the obscure method of killing the killer. After almost 40 years, the horrors have changed, but those same emotions fill me every time I press play.

Cash Cow

Before the First World War, filmmakers knew that a particular portion of the masses enjoyed a delicious fright. However, in the 70’s and 80’s, Hollywood capitalized on the horror franchise. In just 10 years, we saw 18 films released that starred Jason, Michael, and Freddy. We saw new franchises emerge, such as Critters, Sleepaway Camp, and Wishmaster. Horror was a hit, and everyone was trying to get their cut, pun intended. 

With the 90’s, we did see a continuation of our beloved ghoulish fiends, but production considerably ramped down. Due to burnout, due to a lack of ideas, or just a drop in interest, I can’t say, but the 3 Killers released only 5 films in 10 years. It would appear that ole Freddy had slashed his last teen.

Eventually, we did see some resurgence of interest with the start of the new millennium, but in the last 23 years, we have only seen 3 Killers grace our screen 10 times.

Aster, Peli, Wan

To say that horror has shifted from its slasher-centric focus of the 70’s and 80’s is an understatement. As we know it now, horror is a much more serious business. With the rise of films like Oren Peli’s Paranormal, we have seen a shift towards maximum scare. 

Many advertisements for Paranormal showed the terror on moviegoers’ faces through the lens of night vision cameras. Ari Aster has forever engrained in our memories the sound that someone’s head makes when striking an electric pole in a vehicle at high speeds, thanks to a scene from his film Hereditary. James Wan has succeeded in taking the music of Tiny Tim and making it forever creepy thanks to his film series Insidious. 

Don’t get me wrong, I love each of these series, and they are deserving of every ounce of praise they have received. My gripe is that they have created a space where it is no longer safe to have fun in horror. Yes, we have some classics, such as Drew Goddard’s Cabin in the Woods or Lee Cronin’s Evil Dead Rise, but these gems are few and far between.

Like many things, horror movies have evolved over time. The days of Jason Voorhees in space or Freddy Krueger devouring people as a snake are long gone. However, if there’s one thing these movies have taught us, nothing ever stays dead.