child abuse survivor

Child Abuse Resources

Child Abuse Resources

With all this talk about the ISSUE of child abuse and child maltreatment, where are all the resources? This post is specifically focused on resources to prevent of child abuse and support those that have experienced child abuse trauma. I have also included a podcast in this post where I highlighted a few resources that I felt did a great job presenting information, training, and immediate aid for those who are currently experiencing child abuse or are a survivor of child abuse. My hope is that these resources will be helpful and provide aid to those who are in need.

 

CHILD USA is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit think tank that conducts evidence-based legal, medical, and social science research to identify laws and policies affecting child protection. With these facts, CHILD USA shines a light on the better pathways to truly protect kids from abuse and prevent neglect. Children’s Healthcare is a Legal Duty. Sexual abuse and the maltreatment of children have an all too frequent impact on Children’s health. These acts often occur in secret, behind closed doors, but have public consequences.  Victims, their families, and the public pay a high price even decades after the violence ends.  CHILD USA is a child abuse nonprofit that cuts through the shame and the secrecy to gather and analyze the data behind abuse and neglect.

 

Darkness to Light is a leader in child sexual abuse prevention and uses the power of behavior change to protect children. Darkness to Light utilizes a Social Behavior Change framework to guide our work in preventing child sexual abuse. Social Behavior Change is a proven approach for enabling changes at individual, community, and societal levels to improve health and overall well-being. You can check out their blog here: https://www.d2l.org/blog/

 

The mission of Stop the Silence: Stop Child Sexual Abuse is to expose and stop child sexual abuse and help survivors heal worldwide. Our overarching goals are to:

  1. Promote healing of victims and survivors
  2. Celebrate the lives of those healed; and
  3. Underscore child sexual abuse as a social justice and civil rights issue.

They work to address the relationships between child sexual abuse and the broader issues of overall family and community violence, and violence within and between communities.

Their focus underlines the importance of a shift in focus on positive development within our social complexes (e.g., the relationships between men, women, adults and children, cultural groups) to support peaceful – and to hinder violence-prone – relationships.

 

The purpose of NAASCA, to address issues related to childhood abuse and trauma including sexual assault, violent or physical abuse, emotional traumas and neglect .. and they do so with only two goals:

1) educating the public, especially as related to helping society get over its taboo of discussing childhood sexual abuse (CSA), presenting facts showing child abuse to be a pandemic, worldwide problem that affects everyone

2) offering hope and healing through numerous paths, providing many services to adult survivors of child abuse and information for anyone interested in the many issues involving prevention, intervention and recovery

 

**PLEASE ENJOY OUR PODCAST**

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A Child’s Perspective of Child Abuse

A Child’s Perspective of Child Abuse

Many adults are uncomfortable about talking with children about child abuse or who, unfortunately, may be victims themselves. It’s important to use language appropriate for communicating effectively with children about this sensitive subject. Our aim must be to answer children’s questions in a way that they can understand without frightening or confusing them.

                   Photo Credit: Google Images

We can’t assume that a child will behave or react in any particular way. Every situation that involves child abuse is different, and every child responds differently. Simply being an available, responsible adult may provide the support a child needs. Establishing or maintaining a sense of normalcy or routine may help to reassure a child and start the healing process.

I kept all of this in mind when interviewing my 11 year old son. I truly valued our conversation because it allowed me the opportunity to hear from a child and understand his thoughts on child abuse. When you list to our podcast, you can hear that he has some strong thoughts about some aspects of child abuse, but then there are other areas where he doesn’t quite know what the solution would be – all he knows is that child abuse is wrong. Please take a moment and listen to our conversation, and take a peek into a young mind – see how he processes the conversation and how engaged he really is.

 

 

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Survivor Stories: Leah T. (name changed for privacy)

“STEALING”

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We are eating boiled macaroni noodles with hamburger and mushy, stewed tomatoes. It’s all mixed in together. I don’t like tomatoes, so I push them around and wedge them against the edge of my plate. I hunt for the macaroni first. And the hamburger after that. This is rather an ill thought out plan because, in this house, we must always clean our plate. So, despite my dislike of tomatoes, I will still have to eat them. And now without the macaroni or hamburger to help cover their yuck. I decide I am going to swallow large gulps of milk after I spoon in the tomatoes. Maybe that will help.

My cousin is here. He lives on a farm just up the road. He is standing in the kitchen. Over by the countertops. Next to the microwave. He is waiting there while we finish. My dad asked him if he would like to sit down and join us, but he said no because he already ate. I am not sure why he is here. Maybe to help my dad. Or to do something with my older brother.

There is a basket next to the microwave on the counter. It’s filled with “junk.” The junk is mostly stuff that comes from people’s pockets, like pennies and match books and Chapstick tubes and pieces of string. My cousin is mindlessly digging in the basket as he is standing there. I can hear the coins clinking against one another as he thumbs through them. In that moment, I don’t know why I say it. But I do. I think it’s because I am six years old and trying to be funny. I don’t mean any harm. But I say it. “Whatcha doin’ over there? Stealin’?”

Are you ready? Here it comes.

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What Is Physical Abuse?

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A hot flash of light. At the corner of my eye. My dad yells. “LEAH*!!” Loudly. In his terrible, scary voice. In that same flash of light. It strikes. The lightning. He clobbers me. With his big hand. Across my head. Dizzy. The mean voice. “Don’t you ever say that again!” At the table. Stillness. Silence. Everyone looks down. Staring. At their plates. Paralyzed. Afraid. Me. Shaking. With terror. I stammer out the words. “I’m sorry.” He is looking at me. With those cold, hard eyes. In that crossed over place. That land of monsters and darkness and terrible screams and falling through the black sky forever and ever. A burning hot lump. Swelling. Inside my throat. Choking me. Hot tears. Clouding my eyes. The fear. The strongest. Always the strongest! Knocking my heart around. In my chest. Throwing it. With brute force. Against my ribs. Against my sternum.

My mind. Reeling. Is it over? Is it over? Please, let it be over. Is another blow coming? To knock me out of my chair? To let loose my bladder? To take away my breath? To steal all the light from the room?

Is it over?

BLACK.

I don’t remember what happens after that. It’s all fuzzy. In my mind. Like it is for many of these instances.

But I ask myself…

How did we move on in this moment? And the many moments like it? Did we choke down our food in silence and clear our plates? Did we resume conversation and pretend like nothing happened? Did we quietly disappear when our dad turned his head? How did we steal away from the fear? And the pain? Did we hide in the corner and cover our heads? Did we leave our bodies? And float into space? Did we grow wings and take flight? Did we dig a hole and burrow into the ground? Did we sneak off in the night and get lost in the darkness? Did we scream at the sky until our lungs burned red with fire? Did we walk off toward the horizon? Did we run? And run? And run? And run and run?

Yes.

We did.

*Name changed for privacy*

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Survivor Stories: Nicole B. (name changed for privacy)

“Survivors, find your happiness!”

It’s difficult to put my twelve years of sexual, physical, emotional, and neglectful abuse as a child into words that would fit into a story here. As a child, the abuse was a constant. My stepfather started sexually attacking me at age 5, the night of my mom’s bridal shower. His attacks were always as hurtful as possible. He enjoyed the fear in my young eyes.

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He loved to find a reason to beat me so that he could see that fear. For twelve years he controlled everything in my life. My mother chose to ignore the brutal physical attacks; the bruises & bleeding. She allowed him to take me on their dates at around age 12. My mother walked in on us, me in his bed naked at age 9; but I was the one who got punished and sent to my room for the night.

Mom completely neglected my care. There were never any hugs of tenderness or encouragement. She never bought me a tooth brush, took me to a dentist, or cared about any other need of mine. At age 13 I chose to stop bathing because he loved to trap me, it didn’t matter who was around. He was a very sadistic monster and my mother turned her head. The entire town knew who my parents were and they knew if I sneezed, but everyone ignored the filth on my skin, the decay in my mouth, and the monster who was my stepfather.

There was never anyone to talk to or a safe place to run.

This was during the 1970’s; society was starting to take notice, but no one would challenge the monster I lived with. Every day I held my breath and worried about when he would attack. One night I tried to prevent the molestation by putting on my brother’s flannel pajamas – I was beaten and thrown around the house for two hours.

Since there was never anyone who even questioned my well being or tried to protect me; I became trained to accept violent behavior. It led me through a path of over 20 years in brutal domestic violence. One relationship after another was just someone else to beat on me. The last beating I accepted caused permanent injury which has left me disabled.

It was after that beating at 37 when I made the decision that no love was worth this type of abuse. My children and I would be safe and I did it on my own. Finally, my life changed; when I made the motions to change it and stop the abuse against me.

It’s been 10 years since I’ve been safe and I’ve chosen to share my story with others. Anyone who survives these crimes should be so proud of themselves and appreciate their strength. Look at what we have gone through, is there really anything in life that could destroy who we are? They might try and they might leave their mark, but they cannot destroy what is created inside of us. You can thrive in your world and believe that there is happiness after abuse – I am living proof!!!

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May all survivors find their courage to SPEAK OUT about their pain and tell their story so others will learn. Find your happiness in life, it is there!!!!

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Posted on by Tameya Robinson | Leave a comment