To build relationships with people I believe the number one thing I can do is meet people where they are at. I love people and I love hearing about their lives. Celebrating our differences so that I can look at myself within is probably one of the best ways to create solidarity for me. Oftentimes even though we come from different cultures or backgrounds we will have some shared and common ground we can build a relationship on.

This summer I found myself biking along with a 12-year-old boy and we found an iPhone on the ground and we called the police to pick it up. During our experience we talked about how he was going to the grocery store to buy his sister doughnuts. The grocery store was about 7 miles from his house and we both agreed that the Coborn’s doughnuts were worth the bike ride. If you knew me, I have very little in common with a kid like this but I met him where he was at and I have seen him several times on the bike path and he’s always happy to see me. We shared the experience, and we found out we both had a love of Coborn’s doughnuts and biking in common.

Until recently I did very little work with students on campus. However, last year we started our organizing efforts because we wanted to build relationships between faculty and student leaderships. I have gotten to know international undergraduate students in leadership positions, and on the surface it would appear we have very little in common. However, I have built relationships with the students and I really value those relationships. I met them where they were as well. I listened to them, I learned about them, and I was able to provide support for them when they needed it. Oddly, it came in the form of motherly advice or support, which I have to say I think I am an expert in! Together, as students, we have our learning in common, as well as our desire for faculty and students to have a healthy relationship in leadership terms.

People want their lives validated and valued. They don’t have to be the same as mine for me to respect their experiences. Through the respect, I find out what I have in common with people and what our shared interests are so that we can come together for a cause or a purpose.