We are done!

Tonight our group met for a final meeting, and we took a look at the blog. I met with Judy yesterday and she helped me figure out that we needed a new template to get all the categories to link up. I contacted Greg Jorgensen and he gave me directions on how to use a new template when we were this far along. I cleaned up the links, fixed the social media links, and asked Zaya and Kseniia if they were ok with the changes. Zaya thought it was boring but both agreed it would do. We turned in the URL this evening. We are done with the social media project. I turned in my portfolio last week. I really enjoyed this class, I enjoyed the project, and surprisingly I even enjoyed the group work.

Collaborative Project and Individual Portfolio

Our group is wrapping up our project. We have a few more blogs and social media postings to do. We have a few more panels and an interview planned. The first panel on Thursday will be with men and we invited four men to participate: my son Teddy, a faculty member friend Jamie, Kseniia’s friend Rickey, and Zaya’s fiancé Roman. We have another female leadership interview with President Robbyn Wacker, and then a final panel with girls. My daughter is asking a few 12-year old friends to participate. We have enjoyed hearing the stories. We have had several people join our group and that’s been interesting.

I met with Judy today to talk about my portfolio and I think I will do it either in Canva or Powerpoint. I enjoyed learning how to do Canva but Powerpoint might be easier. I have really enjoyed working with Zaya and Kseniia. I think we will stay friends. If you have a chance to do group work with either or both, I highly recommend it! It’s been a pleasure.

Collaborative Project

I am sorry I missed this post. I had Veteran’s Day off and I am struggling these days on following the due dates for classes for some reason. I need to get organized. I think our group is doing well. We decided to use group social media: Facebook (I set up), Instagram (Kseniia set up), and TikTok (Zaya set up). That is working out well. Zaya is busy posting on both the blog and on social media while I have been working on bigger projects like the Women’s Panel and my Mental Load video. Kseniia is cleaning up the blog and providing us with ideas for our next panel.

We are working together much better and I think we work well together. Tonight we met and brainstormed ideas for our next panel. We are thinking we will do a similar panel but invite men to come and talk about women’s issues. Zaya is bringing her fiancé and I asked my son. Kseniia will ask a friend to come. This weekend we are going to keep blogging on the group blog and posting on our social media. Our next panel is scheduled for next Thursday at 5:45pm.

Collaborative Project Update

Our group is working on gender equity issues to include managing women’s mental load, discrimination in pay, gender discrimination and stereotyping, and protecting and advocating for reproductive rights. We have each picked certain topics to concentrate on that we have experience with. We started out using Facebook Messenger but have agreed to use the D2L group box or email to distribute documents to be peer reviewed.

Kseniia agreed to be our group leader and she set up the group blog. This week we met twice and agreed to meet on Thursday evenings. I agreed to meet with Judy to ask her a few questions about the project going forward, and that meeting is Thursday at 1pm. We had good discussions in both our meetings about the project. Both Kseniia and Zaya know quite a bit about blogs and social media and their insight is helpful; they both also know how to make and edit videos. There have been a few items we have not been able to come to agreement; which is frustrating for all of us. I think in time we will work through the items as we talk about them. In the next week, I think our project will come together and we will all have a better idea of our roles in the group and what is expected.

How Do We Bring an Imaginative Dimension to Our Real-World Spaces and Places?

When we talk about a world that is better for women, we realize a better world for all. Taking on issues regarding the pay gap, education, funding/donations, helping women start and sustain small businesses, and empowering women in today’s world should belong to everyone not just women and it should start with girls. For women to bring this dimension to life they need to talk about gender equality to each other as well as with allies and girls. Women need the care work to be shared, to embrace diverse role models, to empower children to speak out, to stop the body shaming, to listen and learn, and to fight stereotypes. Social media can be used to organize and bring awareness to the issues. Using social media women can tell their stories and send messages of gender equality. Allies of gender equality are important for this movement and mission of inclusion and equality to succeed. Planning a social media campaign to empower women and bring light to gender equality will involve proposing ideas that are dynamic and work in the pandemic environment we are living in. Our real world has been redefined and the social media campaign will reach women and girls. Working with women, women and their allies can reach out to girls and mentor and empower them.

How Do Women Imagine Our Social Connections with a Larger Community?

The first step in making connections with women who are working toward equality is having conversations. Because of the pandemic and because we have the advantage of the internet, these conversations can take place online through social media. The connections of women and their allies are what they have in common and where the women are in their lives. In the conversations women will discover what they have in common, what is different, and what other experiences women are undergoing. Women all over the country and world are experiencing the pressures of the pandemic whether they are single, married, or if they have kids or not. Equality may look different for certain groups of women but the struggle for and the goal to achieve equality will be the same. Working toward equality will create solidarity for women and women will discover they have more in common than they think.

How do we forge solidarity with others with different experiences than our own?

To build relationships with people I believe the number one thing I can do is meet people where they are at. I love people and I love hearing about their lives. Celebrating our differences so that I can look at myself within is probably one of the best ways to create solidarity for me. Oftentimes even though we come from different cultures or backgrounds we will have some shared and common ground we can build a relationship on.

 

This summer I found myself biking along with a 12-year-old boy and we found an iPhone on the ground and we called the police to pick it up. During our experience we talked about how he was going to the grocery store to buy his sister doughnuts. The grocery store was about 7 miles from his house and we both agreed that the Coborn’s doughnuts were worth the bike ride. If you knew me, I have very little in common with a kid like this but I met him where he was at and I have seen him several times on the bike path and he’s always happy to see me. We shared the experience, and we found out we both had a love of Coborn’s doughnuts and biking in common.

 

Until recently I did very little work with students on campus. However, last year we started our organizing efforts because we wanted to build relationships between faculty and student leaderships. I have gotten to know international undergraduate students in leadership positions, and on the surface it would appear we have very little in common. However, I have built relationships with the students and I really value those relationships. I met them where they were as well. I listened to them, I learned about them, and I was able to provide support for them when they needed it. Oddly, it came in the form of motherly advice or support, which I have to say I think I am an expert in! Together, as students, we have our learning in common, as well as our desire for faculty and students to have a healthy relationship in leadership terms.

 

People want their lives validated and valued. They don’t have to be the same as mine for me to respect their experiences. Through the respect, I find out what I have in common with people and what our shared interests are so that we can come together for a cause or a purpose.

How do we imagine ourselves as civic agents?

As a woman I see myself as a civic agent by doing a number of things. First of all, voting. I voted on 9/21/20 and I also helped my husband, sons, dad, and friends get mail-in ballots. By voting, women can get their voices heard on women’s matters and political processes that affect them, their families, and their communities. When women participate in voting, politics, policy-making, and government, the chances of being more inclusive, responsive, and democratic. Women are absent around the world in policy and decision-making groups. To achieve gender equality, women’s participation is critical to strengthen and empower women. I think it is time for a woman in the White House as VP.

 

Another way I see myself as a civic agent is standing up for other women and backing women in public, and that includes women of color and women in the LGBTQ+ community. Too often women are stereotyped as bickering with one another and not getting along in offices. I think women need to flock together and stand up for one another. Women also need to stand up for women who are in the public eye like politicians, athletes, actors, teachers, doctors.

 

Finally, the way I imagine myself as a civic agent of women’s rights is standing up for myself and being a good role model for my kids, especially my 12-year-old daughter. Women have to recognize what they contribute to the world, work, life, family life, community, friendships, etc. I am not a confrontational person however I will stand up for myself if I feel I need to. Taking on the City of Sauk Rapids is one example of this for me when they were discriminating against me in pay based on me being a woman.

Changing Mental Load

I imagine that making changes to mental load will be slow and intentional. The change will only be possible by opening up to hetero partners and explaining to them exactly what it is. It is pretty hard to fix a problem if you don’t know it exists. Sharing concrete examples of mental load will identify the problem: having to make the grocery list even though you’re not doing the shopping, having to remember to make appointments you are not going to, having to remember dates and birthdates of family members, and having to make sure kids in school have their needs met.

 

A goal will be sharing the production manager tasks as much as the chore. Doing the chore is not enough. Having the initiative to complete a chore without direction and information would be a success. Another goal would be to express that carrying the mental load is not just about having to do all the worrying. If the partner took more initiative, there would not be a need for worrying because ultimately the task or chore has to be done. It is a matter of how that chore or task is taken on and accomplished.

 

Measuring the success of taking on mental load will involve continuing to talk about it and a little bit of giving up control. Talking about what is working and what could improve would keep the lines of communication open. Giving up control and trusting that the partner is doing the job to an acceptable standard is difficult but it will lighten the mental load.

 

I am definitely a victim of mental load and I could really benefit from following some of my own advice in the paragraphs above.

 

 

Mental Load

If I could imagine a world where women were treated equally to men the most important way in which they would be treated equally would be women would not be carrying the mental load that they do. Another way to describe mental load is invisible labor or cognitive labor. Women carry the load at work and at home. At home women traditionally and usually are the brains behind all the tasks. Although some men are getting better about helping with taking care of the house, laundry, meals, the outside appointments for the entire family, and then any school obligations for kids like sports, conferences, homework, extracurricular activities, and even driving to and from friends’ houses, women oftentimes have to give directions and instructions. They are carrying the mental load of information needed to get these tasks done. Traditionally at work, also, women carry the mental load in the kinds of positions they are in. They have to remember task, make to-do lists, and be responsible for making sure tasks are carried out.

Women should fight to lighten their mental load. Women in the workplace are increasing and the number of dads staying home is also increasing. Ironically for the mental load to shift, women will have to lead the fight in changing their relationships so that women aren’t the only ones who know what needs to be done and when. Carrying the mental load of managing the remembering of everything makes women less productive.

The fight for lightning the mental load is that we are living in a time when men are more willing to help out but they still required directions to complete tasks. They appear to be new-age partners because they are doing more than generations before them did but women are still in a position where they have to give directions, make lists, remember tasks etc.

I am writing this from my personal perspective as a wife who has a husband and kids, and a women at work in a support position that carries a lot of the mental load for the organization. Couples are not all male and female and I have to wonder how it is different for same-sex couples. The comic below explains a lot:

You Should’ve Asked