Empathy, Compassion, and Understanding

Let’s be real for a moment, the majority of us tend to get short with individuals after telling someone something for the 10th time. I know I have in the past and I have to remind myself while we might know something and it comes naturally for us, it might not for someone else. This, in my opinion, is the first step when working with an English Language Learner (ELL) student.

While reading an article by Terese Thonus, called “Serving Generation 1.5 Learners in the University Writing Center,” she makes a valuable point that most of these students we are working with are probably first-generation college students. With some of them, more than likely, the first generation that can read and write in English, and quite possibly in their native language.

This story reminded me of the first interaction I had working with an ELL student in the Center for Academic Success on the Saint Cloud Technical College campus. During the fall 2019 semester, a young student in her third semester at the college in one of the more advanced writing courses the campus offers. The paper she wanted reviewed was titled, “I will make my father proud”. The story was supposed to be about someone that profoundly changed the student’s life or someone they look up to. She mainly wanted assistance with grammatical and spelling errors. There were only a few minor errors, but I could see how she struggled with sentence structure throughout her paper. With attempting to explain what else was going on, she took it as a direct personal attack against her paper. Trying to explain to this student it wasn’t the material that was incorrect, but it was more of how her sentences were coming together. We had spent almost an hour going through the first paragraph and trying to narrow down what was going on.

When asking her what she was trying to say, she would explain it in simple and fluent English. This is where her story hit me. She was writing a story about the man that influenced her life, her father. I learned from the paper that her father had passed away from a heart issue the summer before. During her high school experience, he had hired her a private tutor to help her make something out of herself. She finally learned how to read and write in 2013. Not a single person in her family back to her grandmother and grandfather could read or write in any language, she was the first. Her father passed away before her graduation which you can tell was hard on this student. Her goal is to graduate nursing school and become a traveling nurse in refugee camps to let her dad know she is grateful and to make him proud.

Her story is very touching for me. I am a 39 year old working on a triple bachelors in writing and psychology, while my father is currently battling COPD and Type 2 Diabetes. Listening to her story and how much emotion she put into it, made me want my father there to watch me make something out of myself.

When I had originally started working with her a few sessions before this, I was starting to get a little short with her and frustrated. I would explain something, come back 5 minutes later to check up on her, and she wasn’t progressing. I got frustrated because I could not tell if it was a tutoring issue, the language barrier, or did this student just not want to do the work herself.

Finally understanding this student’s story and struggles in life opened up my eyes. It’s not a tutoring issue, but more of a developmental issue when it came to her learning. For someone that was on her third year of college and taking a college-level course while only having 6 years of actual education behind her, she was doing remarkably well.

When some of our frustrations get to us, we need to remember this student’s story. I know I will always keep it with me in my journey through life. One of the greatest lessons I had learned from this is to be patient, asking probing questions that helped break some of these barriers or misunderstandings. The other thing and the greatest lesson from this are to not get frustrated. We all have our history and we all learn in different ways.

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Equalizing Power with Students

There are many directions this post could take. While I intend, in the future, to reflect on ESL resources and academic articles written about working with English Language Learners (ELL), for this first post, I wanted to discuss the impact ELL students have had on me.

Some view the student and teacher relationship as a power dynamic where the student always acts as the receiver. While this happens, I found that working with students is a two way street. Power is something that is negotiated and at times needs to be surrendered.

When I learn of the obstacles students overcome to be accepted in American universities or the challenges of learning a new language as a refugee, my struggles pale in comparison. It keeps my life in perspective and helps me reflect on the things I have learned from working with these students. In many ways, I feel like what they have given me is far more valuable than the grammar and punctuation rules that I try to teach them.

It reminds me of a television show called Christy from the 1990s, about the life of Catherine Marshall, a teacher who went to the backwoods of Tennessee in the early 1900s. While the show was, for the most part, forgettable, what stayed with me was a line during the opening credits, “I came here to teach, but they show me every day that I am here to learn.” This quote encapsulates my time working with ELL students, and I feel that I am the true beneficiary of these interactions.

At times, working with ELL students is overwhelming. Grammatical and spelling errors may cover the page making the writing almost impossible to comprehend. It takes time, but with patience things improve. My advice though is not to counsel patience, but to recommend giving up power from time to time. Work from a place of vulnerability. I recall working with one student and we were not seeing eye-to-eye. My explanations did not satisfy her in a way that she understood.

What did I do?

I gave up the authority. I had her tell me what her understanding of the assignment was… in her native language (Korean). She spoke for a couple of minute’s gesturing with her hands. I sat in silence and didn’t understand a thing she said. When she was done, I asked for an interpretation. Speaking in her native language seemed to have calmed her and she worked through her response in English. From her response I was able to find a thread of something that we could work with and make our session productive. She mentioned cooking with her mom and I used that to start a conversation about her favorite dishes and how some were made. I even asked how to pronounce them in Korean. She laughed at my appalling pronunciation, but that emotion brought about a connection.

I used the idea of her cooking and connected it to writing a sentence. A paragraph. An entire essay.

Making the connection with something she was passionate about put us on the right path for completing the assignment and saved what could have been a rather awful coaching session. But it came about from my willingness to give up power and not be the expert. I allowed myself to feel uncomfortable and take on the role of the student.

So don’t be afraid to give power to and learn from your students. You will get far more from them than they will get from you.

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