If I could imagine a world where women were treated equally to men the most important way in which they would be treated equally would be women would not be carrying the mental load that they do. Another way to describe mental load is invisible labor or cognitive labor. Women carry the load at work and at home. At home women traditionally and usually are the brains behind all the tasks. Although some men are getting better about helping with taking care of the house, laundry, meals, the outside appointments for the entire family, and then any school obligations for kids like sports, conferences, homework, extracurricular activities, and even driving to and from friends’ houses, women oftentimes have to give directions and instructions. They are carrying the mental load of information needed to get these tasks done. Traditionally at work, also, women carry the mental load in the kinds of positions they are in. They have to remember task, make to-do lists, and be responsible for making sure tasks are carried out.
Women should fight to lighten their mental load. Women in the workplace are increasing and the number of dads staying home is also increasing. Ironically for the mental load to shift, women will have to lead the fight in changing their relationships so that women aren’t the only ones who know what needs to be done and when. Carrying the mental load of managing the remembering of everything makes women less productive.
The fight for lightning the mental load is that we are living in a time when men are more willing to help out but they still required directions to complete tasks. They appear to be new-age partners because they are doing more than generations before them did but women are still in a position where they have to give directions, make lists, remember tasks etc.
I am writing this from my personal perspective as a wife who has a husband and kids, and a women at work in a support position that carries a lot of the mental load for the organization. Couples are not all male and female and I have to wonder how it is different for same-sex couples. The comic below explains a lot: